All of us have had painful experiences, both physically and emotionally. The thing that differentiates is the way we respond and overcome the pain.
The experience left by family members, divorced, betrayed by couples, harassed by friends, for example, can provide emotional burdens that have been carried over for years.
This can be burdensome and makes it difficult for us to enjoy life or feel calm now.
Removing pain in the past is not easy.
However, if the event has long passed and you cannot release it, you may need to take a more proactive approach.
You really can’t forget the event, but you can free yourself from the various negative emotions that accompanied that event.
Whatever happened to you in the past, it is important to remember that God willing, you are able to control your life and have the power to make a great future for yourself.
- 1 12 Ways to Release the Negative Psychology Effects of the Past
- 1.1 1. Make a positive sentence or affirmative sentence to fight various painful thoughts
- 1.2 2. Make physical distance
- 1.3 3. Do your own work
- 1.4 4. Practice “Mindfulness” (present now)
- 1.5 5. Be gentle with yourself
- 1.6 6. Let negative emotions flow
- 1.7 7. Accept that other people may not apologize
- 1.8 8. Get involved in self-care
- 1.9 9. Surround yourself with the people who support you
- 1.10 10. Give yourself permission to discuss it
- 1.11 11. Give yourself permission to forgive
- 1.12 12. Looking for professional help
12 Ways to Release the Negative Psychology Effects of the Past
If you have tried to move away from a painful experience, but you are not sure how to start, here are 12 tips collected by Sara Lindberg (2018) to help.
1. Make a positive sentence or affirmative sentence to fight various painful thoughts
The way you talk to yourself can make you progress or keep stuck.
Often having positive words spoken to yourself when sadness arises can help you reorder your thoughts.
For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, instead of being trapped by saying, “I don’t believe this happened to me!”, Try positive words like, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new way in life, which is good for me.”
2. Make physical distance
Not infrequently people say that you have to keep away from people or situations that cause you to be upset.
According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, this is not a bad idea.
“Creating a physical or psychological distance between ourselves and people or situations can help release negative emotions with a simple reason, namely that we do not have to think about it, process it, or always be reminded of it.”
3. Do your own work
Focusing on yourself is important. You must make choices to overcome the emotional wounds that you experience.
When you think of someone who causes you pain, bring yourself back to the present.
Then, focus on something you are grateful for.
4. Practice “Mindfulness” (present now)
According to Lisa Olivera, a marriage and family therapist, the more we can focus on the present the fewer past or future impacts on us.
“When we start practicing present in the present, our pain has less control over us and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to life.”
5. Be gentle with yourself
If your first reaction cannot let go of a painful situation because you tend to criticize yourself, it’s time for you to show kindness and love yourself.
Olivera said, treat yourself like we treat friends.
Offer yourself compassion and avoid comparing the journey of our lives with others.
6. Let negative emotions flow
If you are afraid to feel negative emotions cause you to avoid them, do not need to worry, you are not alone.
In fact, Durvasula said that many times people are afraid of feelings of grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Instead of feeling it, people tend to just try to stop it.
This actually disrupts the release process.
“These negative emotions are like tidal currents. Let them flow out of you. This may require mental health interventions, but fighting it can get you stuck. ”
7. Accept that other people may not apologize
Waiting for an apology from someone who hurts you will slow down the release process.
If you experience injuries and pain, it is important for you to work on your own recovery.
This might mean accepting the fact that the person who hurt you will not apologize.
8. Get involved in self-care
When we get hurt, it often feels like nothing, but our hearts hurt.
According to Olivera, practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing things that give us pleasure and pleasure, and listening to our needs first.
“The more we can apply self-care to our daily lives, the more we feel empowered. From that situation, our pain does not feel extraordinary. ”
9. Surround yourself with the people who support you
These simple, but powerful tips can help you through many heart injuries.
We cannot live alone and cannot expect ourselves to go through pain alone, Manly explained.
“Allowing ourselves to rely on the people we care about and support them is an extraordinary way, not only limiting isolation but also reminding us of the good things in our lives.”
10. Give yourself permission to discuss it
When you deal with painful feelings or situations that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it.
Durvasula said, sometimes people cannot let go because they feel they are not allowed to talk about it.
“This might be because the people around them no longer want to hear it or they are embarrassed to continue talking about it.”
However, discussing the problem is an important matter.
That is why, Durvasula recommends finding friends or therapists who are patient, willing and willing to be your “mirror”.
11. Give yourself permission to forgive
Because waiting for someone else to apologize can hinder the release process, you may have to do your own forgiveness.
Forgiveness is very important for the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or other feelings that you might experience and need to proceed with moving forward.
12. Looking for professional help
If you have trouble releasing a painful experience, you can talk to a professional.
Sometimes it’s difficult to apply these tips yourself. Therefore, you need experienced professionals to help guide you through the process.
To release pain in the past, you need to make a conscious decision to control the situation.
This can take time and practice.
Be kind to yourself when practicing refocusing the way you see the situation. Then celebrate the small win you get.
In addition, of course, you also need to be sure, that every effort and endeavor, the end result needs to be left to the Almighty, Allah SWT.
For that, do not forget to follow His instructions to maintain a patient attitude, be grateful, multiply zikr and do not hesitate to ask for help from Allah SWT.
Hopefully, it will be useful and your life will be lighter.