Intimate two-way communication is a significant factor for the creation of a harmonious relationship in a marriage.
With excellent communication, of course, every problem that can be discussed with a partner, whether it is only in the form of outpouring or to be resolved.
If communication in a marriage is not smooth or goes in one direction, it will easily lead to conflict between couples.
Even so, each person must have their own unique way of communication with their partners.
The following are tips for Establishing Effective Communication in Marriage
- 1 Tips for Communicating with Couples in Marriage
- 2 Tips to Be a Good Listener for Couples
Tips for Communicating with Couples in Marriage
1. Content of communication
Marriage must be filled with conversation, so that love can survive.
Because, with impressive communication and conversation, we can find out what the couple wants and doesn’t want.
Communication here can be simple in the form of light conversation can also be serious when discussing something.
Through conversation, intimacy will be more interwoven.
Not a few husbands or wives who complain, do not know exactly what their partners want.
This confusion is mainly due to the lack of conversation between the two.
The wife expects the husband to know his own wife’s wishes, while the husband wants the wife to fulfill the wishes of the husband without having to ask.
Couples who rarely or never create intimate conversations or chat, are usually easy to get into conflict.
Because, every wedge in the hearts of couples is not immediately resolved, but only guessing. If it lasts a long time, bad prejudice arises.
Simple problems become heavy and severe problems become even more severe.
This can trigger quarrels, separate beds, until the dissolution of marriage.
Conversation can also prevent the growth of too high expectations of a wife or husband.
2. Timing (Conversation Time)
For example, when you are cool watching TV or are busy completing your work, of course it will be difficult to be a good listener when invited to discuss with your partner.
Find the right time when you want to invite discussion.
Conversely, if your partner needs you to be a listener right away, pause your work temporarily.
3. Sympathetic conversation
An impressive conversation, according to G. C., a marriage counselor from the United States, is a sympathetic dialogue between two people who share experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires.
An impressive conversation between a husband and wife is when one person talks and the other listens.
In addition, the conversation contains honesty, openness, discussion of problems that occur in the family, expressions of mutual desire and hobbies.
And, from the beginning until the end takes place sympathetically, politely and friendly, without any emotional voice.
4. Open up
The conversation can be started from anywhere and at any time and does not always have to be a heavy conversation.
Even small talk can be discussed. From simple conversations, conversations can move on to each other’s expectations or views.
For example, about children’s education, economic improvement, social relations, to sexual relations.
Of course, both the wife and husband must learn to express their wishes clearly.
There is no other way besides learning and practicing communicating the contents of the heart.
Sometimes our partners tend to be more passive in talking.
Because communication skills are influenced by habit patterns.
Some have been communicating with their parents since childhood, but there are also those who always keep their own guts.
For that, we must memorize the characteristics of our partners. Anyone with an interest first should start a conversation.
If it’s frustrating, we ask the inducement question.
Also read: Quotes containing Advice on Marriage
5. Be an active listener
Still, according to G. C., an impressive conversation prioritizes the sympathetic listening process.
We must be willing to listen and understand what the couple is saying, before giving input. This is called active listening.
Everyone needs a sympathetic listener. This type of listener is a listener who sincerely wants to know what the other person is saying.
This is sometimes rather difficult for husbands. For some people, especially men, the conversation is a means of identifying problems, discussing the pros and cons, then finding a solution.
Therefore, they tend to interrupt or refute the wife’s words.
In fact, for many women, a good listener is far more valuable than a myriad of advice or solutions.
Understandably, women often tell stories not because they want advice, but just to lighten their hearts.
Interrupting the conversation, it should only be done to clarify the essence of the other person’s sentence.
After the couple has finished talking, then we ask good questions, which can help couples express their feelings, such as, “Why do you hate him?”
The important thing, do not make questions carelessly. Because couples will feel ignored.
Finally, it takes the right time for a memorable conversation.
If your husband is busy reading the newspaper or watching his favorite sporting event, it is better to wait a while or find another time.
If a new couple comes home from work with a tired and depressed face, it’s better to wait until it relaxes again.
Tips to Be a Good Listener for Couples
Use Your Ear.
Show interest in the conversation. If necessary, place the items that we are holding and delay other work.
Read the situation before reacting.
It is better to react according to the needs of the couple at that time, not according to our wishes. Even if it doesn’t seem like we don’t want to talk, don’t talk.
Before your partner finishes talking, don’t make your comments and suggestions.
Save advice and escape.
Not necessarily couples need our advice. Who knows, he just wants to convey his heart.
Feedback lets the couple know that we hear and try to understand their feelings.
Prior to Norverbal support.
Before giving verbal feedback to a partner, it is better to provide non-verbal support first, such as stroking, stroking or hugging.
Thus effective communication tips to keep the relationship in harmony in marriage.
I hope it can be useful!